Baby Max





This memorial website was created in the memory of Maximus Holdin Stiger who was born, and got his Angel wings, in Oklahoma on August 14, 2005 We will remember him forever. This site was created because I couldn't keep him alive in real life, but I can keep him alive forever in cyberspace! 



      We found out a week before Christmas 2004, that we were pregnant with baby number 4.  After having three girls, we so despirately wanted a little boy.  On my birthday, April 5, 2005, we found out that the baby was indeed a boy.  We were overjoyed, and began planning everything in blue.  After having my last baby VBAC, and to fast to get pain relief, I planned a home water birth with a midwife. I was so excited about the birth.  I had even bought a little baby shirt that said "Made at home, Born at home."  On August 13th I went to work (12 hour shift, 7p-7a, L&D nurse).  Around 11pm I started to have alot of pain along the top of my abdomen.  In the beginning it felt like I had done 1000 sit-ups.  By the time my shift had ended, I felt like my ribs were broken.  I went home and took a warm bath, hoping to relax.  The pain didn't stop.  Off and on all day I tried to go to sleep, but the pain and contractions just got worse. Daniel filled the birthing tub in the kitchen, and I climbed in.  The warm water felt great, but the pain was still there.  Around 5:30- 6:00pm, I felt a pop and a tear.  It was terrible pain, but I just thought it was my water breaking.  I couldn't get any fluid to come out.  Little did I know that at that time it wasn't my water breaking, it was my uterus rupturing!  An hour later my midwives were there.  Max's heart tones were good 150's.  The pain got severely intense.  Like someone was running a spear through my body.  I started to feel drugged.  Things were not making sense.  I was pulled out of the tub.  His heart tones were in the 50's.  911 was called.  To make a long story short... I ended up in the OR.  I awoke, after 4 hours in surgery, to Daniel telling me that my precious baby boy was lost forever.  What an unbelieveable nightmare.  In the end I spent 8 days on the trauma unit.  Not only did my uterus rupture, but so did my bladder.  I also lost other parts of me.  None of the pain I went through can compare to the pain of loosing him.  The time we spent with him in the hospital was bittersweet.  Forever asleep.  Perfect in his silence!  He was called stillborn, but he was born...STILL!  My sweet little man, I will love you forever.     

  There were two songs played at Max's funeral: Glory Baby by Watermark ,along with My Immortal by EvaneScence.  The two songs that my heart sang, but my lips could not speak. 

Most people only dream of Angels.....
I held one in my arms!



When God Calls Little Children to Dwell With Him Above

When God calls little children
To dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question
The wisdom of his love,

For no heartache compares with,
The death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world,
Seem so wonderful and mild.

Perhapse God tires of calling
The aged to his fold;
so he picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
And so he takes but few,
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult
Still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be Good~Bye.

So when a little child departs,
We who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find...


You Never Said Good~Bye

You never said you were leaving
You never said Good~bye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why
A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That nobody could ever fill
It broke my heart to loose you
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you
The day God took you home.
~Author Unknown~


I Am With You
By Gwen Flowers

Whenever you are feeling sad,
Or kind of "baby blue",
Remember that you're not alone
I'll always be with you.
Although I know it makes you sad
That I had to depart,
As long as ther is love
I'll be living in your heart.
Whenever you remember me
With happiness and love,
The angels ging me lullabies
In Heaven up above.
And tho you annot hold me,
Or brush and comb my hair,
Don't doubt for a minute
That I am still right there.
For I am with you always,
In the shadows of your mind
And, if you look around,
It's me that you will find.
I'm the one who pulls your heartstrings
When you hear a baby cry.
I'm the one who lifts your spirits
On wings of a butterfly.
I'm the one who blows you kisses
On a warm summer breeze.
I'm the one who whispers in your ears
In the singing of the trees.
It's me that you hear laughing
In a babbling mountain brook.
Yes, I am all around you
If you will only look.


A Childs Prayer
(This was printed on Max's funeral pamphlet)

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray thee Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray thee Lord my soul to take

A Lost Child's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray ,thee, mommy 
Do not weep
For I shall die before you wake
I promise mommy 
I did not forsake
You tried and tried
that I know
It was just my time to go
Think of me when you can
I will always be your little man!

~written by Felicia, Max's mommy~
(for more poetry written by Max's mommy, go to his timeline)





Poem for a Parting

I am looking at you
So that I will remember your face
When you are gone.

I am listening to you
So that I will remember your voice
When you are gone.

I am being aware of you
So that I will remember how you feel
When you are gone.

I am busy saving you all up in my mind
Because I am afraid I might forget your face
If you are gone too long.

~Marjorie Pizer~

Pleas feel free to look at the AngelMax shop.
I wasn't able to find a "Mommy of an Angel" shirt like I needed, so I came up with my own.  It might work for you too.   (If the link below doesn't work, then  go to   AngelMax.spreadshirt.com)

http://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?sid=26461